Friday Reflections - The Power of Celebrating Small Wins
TLDR: Celebrating small wins doesn’t lead to complacency, it 1) creates important data points supporting the belief that you are capable of making progress and 2) creates positive associations in your brain with the action you took that increase the likelihood of repeating that action.
Recently, I’ve noticed a recurring theme in multiple of my coaching conversations. My clients have been expressing similar goals around being more disciplined and better aligning their actions with their desired habits, e.g., to read more, exercise more, write more. In response, I often share about behavior science and help them create a habit sequence based on that science.
When we check in during our next session, I reflect back the small wins I hear them share, and celebrate them for behaving in ways that are aligned with how they desire to be.
The theme I’m noticing is that most people initially respond back with something along the lines of, “Yeah I know I did that but I SHOULD be able to do this bigger thing that I know I need to do and I’m not doing”, thereby implying their small win was insignificant or inconsequential.
When I observe this pattern and ask my clients how it serves them to dismiss their “small” wins as inconsequential, they often share that perhaps it motivates them to do more, as if celebrating small wins would lead to believing small was sufficient and they wouldn’t aspire for more.
I then ask what this pattern has cost them, and they share that it often prevents them from getting started at all. Or that it leads them to believe everything has always been, and will always be, a struggle, because all that matters is the outcome, not the progress along the way. And because it feels like everything will always be a struggle, they understandably feel resistant towards doing the things they want to do.
The truth is, when we celebrate our small wins and the effort we put into making progress, we actually increase our likelihood of achieving our bigger goals.
BJ Fogg, a Stanford professor, behavior scientist, and the author of “Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything”, found that celebrating our small wins is one of the keys to sustaining a new habit. Our brains are wired to prefer positive experiences so when we take time to celebrate a small win, no matter how small, we create a positive association in our brain with the thing we just did. This positive association then tells our brain that the thing we did is worthwhile doing, which then increases the likelihood we will do it again.
When we tell our brain that our small wins are inconsequential, then we’re less likely to take the small steps that are foundational to more significant progress over time.
We know this intuitively, which is why we cheer on babies when they achieve a new milestone, for example, taking their first step. We wouldn't say to a baby, “that first wobbly step was insignificant, I expect more of you”. Instead, we celebrate those milestones with enthusiasm, knowing that the first wobbly step is a prerequisite to the next wobbly step, and the slightly less wobbly step after that.
The thing about babies is that they tend to be persistent in their attempts to master a new skill. They don’t let momentary failures hold them back. They fall down, get back up, and try again. Imagine if babies were like, “ugh, since I can’t run a marathon, I should probably just give up my attempts to take my first step”. Babies intuitively know that repetitive practice, over time, leads to mastery and unlocks new capabilities, which then requires them to start as beginners all over again.
If we were able to figure this out when we were babies, then we simply just need to remember what we’ve always known, now with the added benefit of being fully resourced and capable adults. We can take the wobbly first steps of any new habit or way of being we desire to practice and trust ourselves to improve over time. And we can release ourselves from the belief that we need to be immediately and perfectly capable and competent at whatever new thing we desire to do.
My son at 14 months old, practicing, falling, and giving himself grace to try again.
My invitation to curiosity for you today is this:
What is something you’re trying to start, become, create, or achieve?
What is a small win you can identify from the past week or two related to that thing?
What would it look like to take a quick moment to celebrate that win and commit to practicing it again today? And then tomorrow? And then the next day after that?
Drop me a line and let me know what comes to mind.
Stay curious,
Jessica
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