Friday Reflections - Regaining agency over your calendar 📅
TLDR: The state of our calendar is a reflection of our beliefs about our ability to make choices on how we spend our time.
As my time off comes to a close, I’m starting to plan for the fall by reflecting on what worked well during the first half of the year and what could be optimized moving forward.
One of the things that feels most important to implement for the remainder of the year is holding space for intentional heads down time and strategic planning weeks.
It’s easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent. I experience this myself and frequently hear from my clients that they feel a lack of agency over their calendar and little to no time to get their work done, never-mind engage in strategic thinking and planning.
It’s also easy to block off time on your calendar and then promptly allow that time to be scheduled over.
As with anything else, our ability to behave in the way we desire is predicated on what we believe to be true about the thing we’re trying to do (because remember, beliefs create feelings and feeling motivate behaviors and actions).
This week, I’ll be sharing several perspectives for your consideration related to blocking off your calendar for heads down time. Each perspective includes a belief about your ability to schedule heads down time and the feelings and behaviors that result from that belief.
Next week, I’ll share some practical tips for both scheduling and spending your time during a heads-down day or week.
Various Perspectives Related to Blocking Off Heads Down Time
Perspective #1: Powerlessness
Beliefs:
I’ve tried to block off time before and it just gets scheduled over.
I have too much on my plate anyway and would never be able to have a whole day for heads down time.
My industry is so volatile right now, if I take a whole day every week for heads down time, it might look like I’m not as capable as my coworkers, which puts me at risk of being negatively viewed, which I can’t risk in this uncertain climate.
Feeling: Powerless, apathetic.
Behavior: Being unwilling to try something new --> not doing anything to change your calendar and feeling trapped by it.
Perspective #2: Conflict
Beliefs: Every time I block off time on my calendar, my boss and/or coworkers and/or stakeholders just disregard my time block; it’s their fault I can’t have heads down time.
Feeling: Anger, resentment.
Behavior: Doing something out of spite or not doing anything at all and blaming others --> scheduling heads down time and being rigid and/or harsh about never accommodating any requests on those days, or keeping your calendar as is but blaming your manager or stakeholders for that choice.
Perspective #3: Rationalizing
Beliefs:
I know I’m ultimately responsible for my calendar, but to be honest, I don’t really want to put forth the energy required to explain why I want to hold this time, so I’ll just deal with having meetings all day, every day.
I know heads down time is important, but it’s not a good time for that right now, so I’ll think about this idea again later.
Feeling: Tolerance.
Behavior: Remaining in the status quo --> keeping your calendar as is and coming up with various reasons why it's "fine" while telling yourself you'll figure out how to change it in the future.
Perspective #4: Care/concern (note: this perspective is different depending on whether the care/concern is directed towards yourself, others, both):
Care/concern for yourself
Beliefs: I know that in order to make meaningful progress on my workstreams, I really need dedicated heads down time. I could work on this after hours, once all my meetings are done, but that will cut into my family or personal time, so it feels important to get this done during regular work hours.
Feeling: Self-empathy.
Behavior: Setting and holding boundaries --> scheduling a heads down day, kindly sharing with others why that time is important, and requesting their support in your efforts to focus.
Care/concern for others:
Beliefs: My team relies on me to be available and it would be inconvenient for them if I was unavailable to meet for a whole day every week. I care about my team’s success so I’m not willing to jeopardize their success just so I can get my own work done.
Feeling: Compassion for others.
Behavior: Sacrificing your time in service of others --> continuously accommodating requests for your time, even when it's not completely necessary and/or frequently requires you to work after hours.
Care/concern for self AND others:
Beliefs: Our team says we value self-care and as the leader of the team, I know my actions speak louder than words. If I don’t prioritize my own time, then I know I’m sending an implicit message to my team that they can’t prioritize their own time. Blocking time on my calendar is important to show my team I want that for them too.
Feeling: Compassion for self AND others.
Behavior: Behaving in the way you want your whole team to behave --> instituting a heads down day, advocating for the rest of your team to do the same, and empowering them to push back when others try to infringe on that time.
Perspective #5: Win/win solution
Beliefs: I know my manager and I both want me to deliver an exceptional work product. In order for me to do that, I need heads down time. Heads down time benefits both of us because I’ll have the mental and emotional space to be more thoughtful, planful, and creative in my work, which means I’ll be more likely to meet or exceed my manager’s expectations. A bonus for them is they'll spend less time reviewing my work and my work will help us meet our broader team's goals.
Feeling: Peace, excitement, flow.
Behavior: Finding creative, mutually beneficial solutions to achieve your shared goals --> scheduling heads down time in a way that benefits the whole and incorporates unique and/or innovative methods for doing so (e.g., send an AI notetaker to a meeting you otherwise would have needed to attend for information collecting purposes).
Note: there is no right or wrong perspective. The key is to determine which perspective will serve you the most and cost you the least.
My invitation to curiosity for you today is:
What does your ideal calendar look like?
Which of the perspectives above is most reflective of your current perspective?
To what extent is that perspective helping you move towards your ideal calendar?
If the answer to question 3 is not “completely”, then which perspective would be more likely to move you towards your ideal calendar?
What is the likely future outcome if you continue holding your current perspective?
How satisfied will you be with that future outcome?
As always, drop me a line and let me know what comes to mind for you.
Stay curious,
Jessica
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